A Deeper Kind Of Support For Parenting

I haven’t taught any parenting workshops since pre-Covid times. During the lockdown I was so stunned at what was going on and the way the measures affected children, that I knew I wouldn’t have been able to run a group, supporting a whole range of people with different beliefs about what was going on. I felt deeply uncomfortable with teaching a philosophy of human connection, and emotional understanding without calling out the atrocities that were destroying the fabric of our human society.

I saw a brief clip on GB news the other day of a mother whose daughter still struggles to be in groups of children and worries about not keeping 1m distance from others. She commented that every single child is affected. As a parent educator we are taught brain science, many of us are trauma informed, and yet we watched mass trauma happen to our entire population of young people, and many were silent. 

These days, after huge shifts in my spiritual beliefs, I feel calmer about it all, as I see that what we are going through in the physical world is a reflection of what goes on behind the curtain, a spiritual war, ‘For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.’ 

Things have changed a lot in my thinking since I wrote my book Tears Heal: How to listen to our children, but I have never doubted for a second that this is the best way to raise children, with love, and compassion, children that know right from wrong. 

There is one major difference to my life now and what I wrote then, and that is the practise of listening time; this a method of talking and listening with others that I explain in the book, it’s a way to explore childhood wounds, and release feelings so our own past doesn’t get in the way of our parenting. 

It’s very effective and helped my parenting a lot. In fact, it taught me almost everything I know about kind, compassionate, communication with human beings. I still use (or at least try to use!) these skills in pretty much every interaction I have with people both online and offline). 

But the major difference, is God. I didn’t realise all these years, that we are born with a God shaped hole inside of us, and that there comes a time, that if we don’t take the life ring he’s offering us, we might end up circling around in old trauma over and over. When we are born again, we are given a new life, to me those old wounds seem more of a distant whisper in the background, and I don’t feel the need to go over them, so many times. That doesn’t mean I don’t still get emotional or upset, or stressed, but just that with God in the picture, the solution is different. 

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s so important as human beings on this earth that we connect with others, we talk and share our stories, in fact it’s one of my favourite things to do. But just in my own life, I don’t feel the strong need to have a counsellor or another listener as a formal arrangement outside of everyday conversation anymore. God showed me very clearly that I needed to trust him, the ultimate silent listener, and take my problems to him.    

I recently spoke to a Christian marriage therapist who has amazing success helping couples resolve their difficulties because in her session she brings God into the picture, she prays with the couples, and lets the Holy Spirit do the work 

It got me thinking that I would like to teach again from a different perspective, bringing God into the picture, learning tools to pray about our parenting difficulties, as well as having connection with other parents, so we know that we are all in this together. 

So I’m offering a 9 week Tears Heal course. Over the 9 weeks we’ll read my book together, and I’ll host weekly calls to answer all of your parenting questions. I’ll also bring in some extra weekly reading to materials to bring God, prayer, and the Holy Spirit into your parenting, for this ultimate support. 

We’ll also cover Bible scripture, and show how gentle parenting can be completely compatible with Christian beliefs. I know some Christians don’t think they are but I would like to share some tools that explain why our children misbehave, and how firm, but loving limits, along with connection, are the most effective way to ensure we bring up children. 

If you’re interested in the course please pm me for the details. 

Thank you for reading and I look forward to supporting some of you in a completely new way! 

Picture in photo is Jesus The Gentle Parent by LR Knost. If you’re interested in the course you might want to read this book too.