Finding Our Peace

I have heard that there are people out there, who want nothing to do with ‘the vaccinated,’ and who cannot forgive them for going along with the narrative, for being too ‘lazy’ to look into what is going on with the vaccines, and realise what is really going on.

I expect that if you are reading this, you might have a more emotionally mature, nuanced perspective. And yet, don’t we all, have moments of anger, towards those who go along with it all, who haven’t questioned, and who have complied? Because we know that if nobody complied, then this whole thing would have been over, would never have been able to get going in the first place.

Anger is entirely natural. And yet, will it move us forward? Is it the kind, and compassionate response towards are fellow humans.

In terms of brain science, when we experience strong emotions, the pre-frontal cortex, the part of our brain responsible for rational, reasonable thinking cannot function well. So when we are stuck in anger, blame, resentment, we cannot always react in a sensible way. Add in fear, (perhaps of the future and potential outcomes) which puts us into fight or flight mode, and the chances of having a rational thought get even fewer.

Yet somehow we do manage it, we manage to push down our feelings, and push them to the back of our minds. And yet sometimes those thoughts still come back up. And those thoughts can lead to actions where we don’t feel fully in control. We might end up in arguments with friends and family who disagree even though we know better. Or we might simmer in silent resentment, feeling unable to speak up. We want to be the emotionally mature person, but sometimes we don’t manage it.

There is a third way, and it involves acknowledging the emotions. It takes courage and a letting go of ego, to acknowledge, that yes, we do have moments when we might not feel very compassionate towards those who went along with the agenda. After acknowledging the emotions it can help to have a safe space to express the emotions.

Listening partnerships, exchanges or talking and listening are designed to be safe, non-judgemental spaces for expressing your emotions. You can be as ‘emotionally immature’ as you like, because actually there is nothing wrong, with expressing what you really think, in the right context, without hurting others, but with a neutral listener.

When you get time to be the ‘child,’ to stomp and tantrum, you may find that when you return to a calmer state, you don’t feel angry anymore, you don’t hate, and you can forgive. But without having the space to truly express those feelings, you might hold the grudge forever.

As children so many of us were taught that expressing ourselves, wasn’t okay, that we had to learn to control our emotions. We were brought up by parents, who never got to fully express themselves, and so the cycle continued. Ironically, though, it’s letting those emotions have their expression, that allows us to take the emotional higher ground and understand and accept that everyone made their choice for a reason.

Healing Conversations with each other, and offering that space for one another, is how we move towards that sense of peace. It doesn’t always happen overnight, but there is a tried and tested method of getting there.

If you’d like to learn more than sign up to my Healing Conversations course. Starting 21st March, we’ll explore six weeks of talking and listening to process emotions, and find our emotional equilibrium, one conversation at a time.