Journey To Peace

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One of the first things that went through my head in March 2020 was; I wonder what David Icke thinks about all this. Those conspiracy ‘theories’ I’d read five years previously, the conspiracy ‘theories’ from the book I hid under the bed so I could try and live a normal life, became impossible to ignore. Something was not right about the whole ‘locking people down to keep everyone safe because the government cares about us’ narrative.

I found a podcast where Icke was talking about how it was all being done to usher in a cashless society. And now look where we are. In February of this year, I visited the UK and everywhere I went people looked surprised as I attempted to pay with cash. I ate lunch with my mum in a cashless pub, and thought about the potential future our grandchildren will face as my mum told me how convenient it is to be able to pay with card. It would be even more convenient to not even need to take out your card, and just pay with a microchip too. (just another thing the conspiracy theorists were warning about).

For most of 2020 and 2021, I had an inner battle going on. My rage, at the lies people were being told. My fear of digital passports, and how freedom was being taken away. My grief at the mass rollout of harmful juice.

In August 2019, I’d moved to Italy, and my daughter started full time school for the first time. I was excited about the possibility of being able to work while she was at school. I calculated how much I could earn at home as a freelance writer/coach, and realised it was more than I would get teaching English in the city. In 2020, and 2021, my work suffered, I got into debt. My emotions were caught up in the narrative and it was hard to focus. People’s health and freedom and children’s futures were on the line. All my creativity energy went super-charged into trying to warn people. I’m not sure it had any effect, but I did gather a small following of like-minded people, who ‘liked’ and ‘loved’ my facebook posts, and left me kind comments.

Then things shifted. 1.  I found God. 2. The main media narrative changed to the Ukraine. It felt like my time speaking out was done. I started to get my headspace back. I had multiple writing commissions at once for the first time since 2019. I no longer went down rabbit holes, I read the Bible, instead, listened to awake churches and ‘new age to Jesus testimonies’ on Youtube.

It was such a relief to be rid of the urge to speak out constantly. I guess while it happened it served it’s purpose, but now it is a new chapter. I’m still orientating myself to this place. I don’t quite get it. I can go on a bus now without worrying about getting caught. I can eat outside, and apparently all restrictions in Italy will be dropped on April 30th. I know it may just be a pause, but I am enjoying it.

There’s something else I want to tell the world about, even as I’m still trying to figure it out for myself. And when I tentatively tried to find the words, I found myself defriended, and psychoanalysed. It seems if we believe in God and Jesus, think we are crazy.

And yet my life is getting itself in order. I’m working more, and a few days ago I made a decision to give up Yoga and Pilates, and pray and work on my veggie garden instead. Since living in Italy, I’ve had space to grow veggies, but had too much going on before, or was dealing with chronic fatigue. Now suddenly I’ve got the energy to garden for hours.

I started this garden two years ago, as I felt that in a world where governments can take away our freedoms at a moment’s notice, moving towards self-reliance is our only hope.

At the time I was following spiritual people who talk about ‘the great awakening,’ and believing we were going through a shift in consciousness that would create heaven on earth, and we would all be living like this, in harmony with nature. Now after looking into it, I feel that the concept of the ‘great awakening’ is a mass deception on a spiritual level, designed to placate us and lull us into a false spirituality that will look like love and light on the surface, but be something else entirely at it’s depths.  As the Bible says, ‘the devil disguises himself as an angel of light.’

Until recently I had no idea, how much is prophesised in the Bible, a one world government, a false religious leader, war, and pestilence. As some seeking predictions. I haven’t found anything that beats this book.

And when I found this truth, I found immense sense of peace. I stopped seeking. I stopped looking in this place and that place.

And I was released from the narrative, and I found joy in the simple things. Like trying to grow vegetables. I don’t know what will happen, but I have found peace in aligning with God, in doing what is right. Simple things, like putting my kitchen scraps into compost, and planting a few seeds, instead of throwing it all awake. I’d been put off in the past by the notion of being ‘green-fingered’ which I most definitely am not.

However I was inspired by my daughter who loves baking and has self-taught herself to invent all her own recipes by watching bakers on youtube. Maybe I can learn after all. As I watch youtube videos and learn about how vegetable scraps, and manure and blood and bone, are good for growing I think to myself; this is all by design. The beautiful cyclical harmony of nature.

I pray that we can all find little ways back to nature. To empower and free ourselves wherever we can. In finding God, I am learning to be humble, to let go of the need of ego worldly fulfilment, and just get my hands dirty in the ground. There is so much bliss in this, in finding again, what they have tried to divorce us from, and continue to divorce us from with their deceptions, and temptations, and trans-human manipulations.

I guess like many of us I’m wondering how this all ends up. I don’t know, but all I know is that being guided by God, is the way I want to go.