New Adventures in Dog Training

Before getting a dog my daughter and I got a book on raising a puppy, and watched various different puppy training channels on youtube.

It wasn't sitting right with me that so much puppy training is rewards based. I raised my human child without rewards as I was blessed enough to learn early on, that is connection that builds co-operation. When we enter into the punishment/reward paradigm it's not so much about relationship, but more about the transaction - what can I get? What do I want to avoid?

In our family there are no 'conditions'. It's not 'if you tidy your room you'll get some pocket money,' it's about relationship, and being there to support a child through upset feelings, so that when you ask them to do something, they are able to say yes.

''Dogs are different,'' my husband said, and I'm on a massive learning curve getting my head round the dog mentality as I didn't grow up with dogs like he did.

Dogs are most definitely different, but we are all mammals thriving on connection.

I kept having questions, and began to think that the dog training world is a lot like the parenting world. There are lots of experts, lots of conflicting opinions, but what is the truth, what is actually based on the science of who our dogs are and the best way to train them, or perhaps throw that word out entirely and 'raise' them instead?

I'm not sure but it's been interesting to start to try and figure it out.

I came across a dog training course where the teacher was talking about connection. She quoted from Alfie Kohn's book for parents of humans, 'Punished by Rewards.' As I explore her approach, I wonder, perhaps those niggling doubts I had about training weren't so misplaced after all.

If you would like to learn more about raising children without reward and punishment check out my book Tears Heal: How to listen to our children, for a Christian perspective I recommend Jesus The Gentle Parent By LK Knost.