Reframing Regrets
When I’m feeling low, most often when I have a virus and can’t get the energy to feel productive, I start to think about all the people I’m no longer in contact with. I start to think that it’s to do with me, because I came so hard against the new age, because online I talk only about Jesus. I start to think that I’ve done it wrong, and that I should have been gentler, and nicer about it. I sometimes scroll through my facebook feed and look at my old contemporaries, and how popular they are and I think to myself, look at what you’ve done, you could have been like that if you’d only kept quiet.
These thoughts really get at me, when I feel lonely, when I haven’t spent time with my Christian brothers and sisters in a while. They start me mourning and focusing on what has been lost.
Somewhere I remember reading how we shouldn’t tell people that their beliefs are wrong, as it only angers them, and so this opinion somehow got lodged in my mind and comes back to haunt me periodically.
I could feel it happening over the last few days when I crashed after Christmas with a virus I’d been trying to cope with. To keep myself entertained I’d started watching some channels of awake Christians. I started to hold myself up against them, thinking ‘’oh look at them they’re managing to appeal to all people of all beliefs, and here I’ve been so divisive.’’
As I think these thoughts I know that they are sinful, because they are rejecting God and his kingdom for the kingdom of man, putting more importance on being popular, and earthly success.
Then I came across a video the other day about an evangelist in the UK called Hatun Tash who has currently gone missing. Hatun grew up as a Muslim in Turkey and converted to Christianity when she moved to the UK. She now regularly debates Muslims, pointing out holes in the Quran, and sharing the Gospel. She has been to over 400 Mosques to share her discoveries and has been beaten many times and even stabbed in the head.
As I listened to an interview with her, I started to come to my senses. As Christians we are meant to be persecuted, people are going to get angry with us. It should not matter if what we are doing is considered wrong by man, if it is right by God. It was interesting to hear that Hatun even gets emails from Christians complaining about her manner and how it’s not graceful enough, but she has helped hundreds of Muslims to see the truth and convert to Christianity. So what could be more important than that?
The Bible tells us to ‘Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.’ - Matthew 28:18-20. How we do that is going to look a little different from person to person, but we are meant to do that, we are not meant to just keep the Gospel for ourselves.
I thank God for Hatun and that her testimony came across my path at the perfect moment. It set me free from all those shallow thoughts, and reminded me that Christians are going to be hated and persecuted and that compared to people like her, I have it incredibly easy.
The apostle Paul says that we should ‘consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.’ - Hebrews 10:24-25. Without that, the enemy can find a way in, to start feeding us lies about what matters.
God’s word can always remind us of the truth.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:10–12