Swapping A Worry For A Prayer

At some point, and I can’t remember when exactly, but halfway through last year, or so I began to say the Lord’s prayer each night before bed. When I think back to what made me want to start praying, I think it was when I did an interview with a group interview with Tara Love Perry, Becky Shank, and Lisa Bartello. Lisa told an amazing story of being a targeted individual and the power of prayer in saving her life. It stuck with me.

I didn’t really know where to start with prayer. So I decided I would just go with the most well-known prayer of them all.

Then I came across this video, which demystified the whole praying process to me. I started having conversations with God, just expressing gratitude for everything I had been given, and talking about the things I was struggling with. I would ask for good health for myself and my family. I wouldn’t so much ask for the things I wanted but more for help with emotional struggles.

This morning as I went out walking, I was reflecting on how for the first time since the start of you-know-what, I feel like I’ve got my sense of purpose back, a new book to write which feels like a way to ride the waves of what’s happening, but also get on with life in a purposeful way.

As I walked I asked myself, what’s changed? What am I doing differently to what I’ve been doing through this whole period of nearly two years.

Could it be, that it is, this prayer? Prayer feels so different to me to trying to manifest. Instead of relying on my own limited power as an individual, I surrender my power, to an all-powerful higher force. I don’t expect every ‘want’ to be met, for riches, or to live exactly where I want. Instead I surrender to ‘God’s plan’ for my life, and that even when things don’t seem perfect, there’s a reason for it all. And in surrendering, things seem to be going more smoothly. I’m getting more clear-headed. I’m able to balance my days better and be more productive workwise.

Prayer, and learning more about the Bible, and Christianity is the one big difference in my life.

When I started reading the Bible last year, I kept falling asleep! On the advice of a new Christian connection I started to read from the new testament; the story of Jesus’s birth and death. Christianity can be challenging, and I have found some of the dogma to be so off-putting. However sticking to the words of the Bible, and asking to be guided by God to anyone confusion I have about the meaning, instead of hearing other people’s interpretations is helping me.

One thing I am doing, is whenever I’m going about my daily life and catch myself worrying, I stop what I am doing. I sit down, and say the Lord’s prayer. Then I’ll begin a few minutes of free-flow prayer. So for example if I’m worried that I’m not going to be provided for financially I ask God to guide me in the best way he can to do work that will support my family.  

Because after all, isn’t worrying a lack of faith? A lack of faith that we can be supported, provided for, loved and have all our needs met?

So I’m swapping my worries for prayers, and each time one flits through my mind. I pray.