Thriving In Isolated Times

Thriving in Isolating Times

A few weeks ago, a friend mentioned another friend in Italy who was going to cave and get the vaccine because it was becoming impossible to live in society without it. It got me thinking, how we the non-cavers, are a bit of a different breed. It certainly feels as if there’s a difference between those who don’t want the vaccine but will get it if things get too hard, and those for which there’s absolutely nothing that would make us cave and cross that line.

And when it comes to society, well, I don’t know about you, but I have no interest in being part of a society which demands a surrendering of our body autonomy as an entrance fee. I have viewed this, being thrown out of a society as a good thing. Yes it’s painful. Yes it’s discriminatory. But if we keep clinging onto the old broken, psychopathic society, we will never build anything new. Now is our opportunity.

I have however noticed, that in these winter months, I’ve been feeling more and more isolated. I think the thing that really effected my mood was the banning of the unvaxxed on public transport.

I haven’t driven in years, and a bad experience when I first moved to Italy put me off driving. I’m just not sure I want to get behind the wheel again, and I was quite happy using buses and trains to get around. But it feels very disconcerting to lose my independence, to no longer be able to freely make plans, and get around, without the constant threat of the authorities in the background.

In those low moments I dream of a going to Mexico for a month or two, or moving back to the UK. I dream of escaping and living a different, better life somewhere else. And then I feel a little better. I meditate for longer, I get a better nights sleep, and I have a change in perspective.

Something caught my eye on facebook the other day, and it was a post by a friend who said she was feeling isolated, but she knew that nothing was really wrong in the present, and that it was old feelings. There is a philosophy that I learnt about through my work as a parent educator, that the vast majority of difficult feelings we deal with as adults, are actually old feelings, from our childhood, past traumas and upsets from times when we were never fully heard, and never fully got to express ourselves.

When it seems as if the government is to blame. When ‘they’ve’ taken away public transport, when ‘they’ve’ made life boring and empty, there is a deeper truth. The way in which these present experiences remind us from something from our past. This isn’t to condone what the government’s doing, but their hurtful behaviour gives us the chance to transcend, and evolve. We can stay feeling like a victim or we can work on processing our old pain, and hurts. When the past is less present, we can focus on what we can do in the present, the way we can find ways to overcome and get around the rules, and find our strength. And this is how we will help to co-create the new earth.

Yes I can feel angry and rage at the government. Yes I can feel angry and rage at those who do not object to an apartheid society. But I need to express this anger, work through it, and then move on. There’s nothing to be gained from getting stuck in negative feelings.

The isolation, whatever you are feeling now, cannot last forever. And though circumstances may change more slowly, you can change your feelings simply by having a safe space to process and work through them.

If you’re interested in learning more about listening, and how it can help in these times of isolation, then you may be interested in joining my upcoming course in Healing Conversations. Starting in February. Pm me for details.